Is the Story You are Telling Yourself Helpful?

By Michelle Malay Carter on April 11, 2009 

Is the Story You Are Telling Yourself Helpful?My former manager, Becky, had a slew of health sensitivities.? She did not eat meat.? She could not tolerate dairy; she was sensitive to many fragrances;she was allergic to lanonlin, an ingredient in many cosmetics and lotions.

I remember sitting in her office one day as she ran down this extensive list, and I was thinking, “Man, some of those things I could live with, but I don’t know if I could give up cheese.? I’m glad I don’t have any of those ailments;?she must lead a difficult life….”

Nothing is Neither Good Nor Bad, but Thinking Makes It So – Shakespeare
As I was thinking these things, she looked at me and smiled and said something along the lines of, “God must have a plan for me to live a long, full life since he is keeping me away from these things that are not good for my body.”

I remember being shocked by her cheerful, grateful approach to what I was seeing as a major burden and inconvenience.

What’s the point?? If you can’t change your less-than-desirable circumstances, you can change the way you look at them.?

Is the story you are telling yourself about a troublesome circumstance helpful?

Thank you to my colleague, Jim Hines,?a Systems Dynamics?consultant,?for posing that powerful question.

Filed Under Personal Observation, Strategy

Comments

6 Responses to “Is the Story You are Telling Yourself Helpful?”

  1. Jim on April 12th, 2009 10:16 am

    WOW, that is very profound and true.

    Great lesson in life. We create the meaning in everything.

    We certainly need to reminded of this often. Thanks.

  2. Michelle Malay Carter on April 13th, 2009 8:14 am

    Hi Jim,

    Thanks for stopping by and for your comment. I’m telling myself positive stories about it!

    Regards,

    Michelle

  3. Eric Pennington on April 14th, 2009 5:30 pm

    Michelle-how true, how true…I passed this onto my Twitter universe as well.

  4. Michelle Malay Carter on April 15th, 2009 9:09 am

    Hi Eric,

    Hope all is well with you. Tweet away.

    Michelle

  5. Alicia Parr on April 15th, 2009 9:36 am

    I am gluten and dairy intolerant and have a host of other chemical sensitivities. Yeah, it was a pain nailing down what I could and couldn’t eat when I first recognized the cause of my problems, but do you know how easy it is to avoid the dangers of Christmas and Easter sweets? Simple.

    A big help to behavior change is to have near immediate consequences to a non-desired action. For most people, the consequences for food choices are delayed and garbled by other variables. For me, it’s clear. Similar to your friend’s attitude, I’ve always believed my body is just rejecting the things that are harmful in an obvious way instead of through long term, hidden effects.

    So, to your main point, yeah, it’s better not to waste energy wishing you could change the unchangable. To your subtext message– no matter what your obstacles and how difficult (impossible) they seem to yourself and others– there’s always a way to deal and find the silver lining. Do you know how often I hear, “I could never…”? Yes, you could, I reply.

  6. Michelle Malay Carter on April 16th, 2009 12:36 pm

    Hi Alicia,

    Thanks for your perspective. I suspect your great attitude contributes greatly to your athletic success as well.

    Regards,

    Michelle