Performance Evaluation One Liners – A Friday Funny
By Michelle Malay Carter on June 12, 2008
What you’d really like to say…
- Bright as Alaska in December.
- A room temperature IQ.
- One neuron short of a synapse.
- Still one step ahead of the law.
- He’s so dense, light bends around him.
- This person is not really so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won’t-be.
- Needs a new title, e.g., jester, dunce, former employee, etc.
- Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train just isn’t coming.
- A clock watcher who’s in a different time zone than the rest of us.
- This employee should go far — and the sooner he starts, the better.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- Has a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
- Has?reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
- Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
- A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
- It’s hard to believe he beat out a million other sperm.
- If brains were taxed, she’d get a large refund.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargles.
- I wouldn’t allow this employee to breed.
- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- Has two brains: One is lost, the other is out looking for it.
- If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
- Finds twenty reasons to do anything except original task.
- Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a child.
- Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t looking.
- Needs more to do. Might I be so bold as to suggest looking for a job?
What do wish you could have said?
Filed Under Managerial Leadership, Talent Management
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One Response to “Performance Evaluation One Liners – A Friday Funny”
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Clever stuff. Time was when I would find these descriptions amusing. Since then I have worked with too many bosses who took much company time and pride in confecting these clever put-downs. Long of tooth now, I have come to see such lists as contests of fools.